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How to Arrive at a Job Interview

Posted by Erik Even on Aug 18, 2009 in Advice, Job Search

Job applicants often give thought on how to maximize the positive impact when they first meet a recruiter or interviewer.

But by the time you meet the person who decides whether or not to hire you, you have probably already interacted with at least one other firm employee, and been seen by several others. You need to start making a good impression from the moment you arrive.

Walk into the office exactly 15 minutes early. By which I mean, leave an hour early. Employers don’t care about traffic, cars breaking down, and buses off-schedule. Leave extra early to ensure you get to the appointment early.

But don’t go into the office too soon before the appointment. Fifteen minutes early says “I’m taking this job interview seriously,” without saying “I have nothing better to do than loiter in your reception area for 45 minutes.”

Arrive at the office an hour early? That’s why they have Starbucks.

Be fully prepared before you enter the office. Make sure your clothes are taken care of before you arrive. Check your hair and makeup. Use a restroom — but not the one at the company! If you have to, plan ahead. Does the office building have public restrooms? Is there a fast food place nearby where you can spruce up?

Also, be sure to TYCPTFO. That means “Turn Your Cell Phone The F–k Off!”

The receptionist may not be a receptionist. Never assume the first person you see sitting at a desk by the front door is a receptionist. Treat this person with the same respect you intend to show the interviewer. Apologize for bothering them and ask for the person you’re there to see. Don’t ask this person for a drink, or the location of the bathroom, or if they can validate your parking — even if they ARE the receptionist. You can ask about the parking validation on your way out.

Don’t pace in the reception area. If there is a reception area, just sit quietly. You should be able to sit still for 15 minutes. Don’t mess up the magazines. Don’t bother the “receptionist” — he or she has work to do. Don’t chat with anyone unless they initiate the conversation. Smile politely at anyone who walks past.

Don’t bother anyone if your interviewer is late. If it’s 20 minutes past the time of your appointment, you’ll feel like asking what the heck’s going on. Be patient (but make a mental note that this company may not be the place for you, if its employees miss meetings and/or don’t value people’s time).

If you haven’t heard anything in a half-hour, then you may wish to bug someone. A receptionist is the perfect person to bother. If they do not have one, maybe you can turn your cell back on and call whoever you have dealt with up to this point (a recruiter, HR manager, etc.).

And if no one helps you at the 45 minute mark, you should probably walk.

Got any other advice? Let us know in the comments!

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Job Interview Disasters

Posted by Erik Even on Jun 24, 2009 in Job Search

From the archives of EmploymentCrossing.com: Job Interview Disasters.

Don’t do any of these things. EVER.

Part 2

Got any good job interview disaster stories? Let us know in the comments!

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Job Interview Attire — for Men

Posted by Erik Even on Jun 23, 2009 in Advice, Job Search

Men assume that because proper interview attire isn’t the minefield for them it is for women, they don’t have to worry too much about what they wear to a job interview.

Wrong.

You may think your resume or cover letter gives a prospective employer their first real impression of you. Nope — that just gets you in the door, and by the time of the actual interview, an employer may have forgotten everything in your resume, or not even have read it yet.

It’s the first moment that an interviewer sees you that gives them their most important impression of you. Is this prejudice? Only if they’re judging you based on race or ethnicity. You choose your hairstyle, choose your hygiene, control your own gait and posture, and you select your own clothes. These are all messages you select and control. If you’re not aware of them, controlling them, then who know what you are telling the world about yourself?

As the great David Byrne once sang, “I am just an advertisement for a version of myself.”

Let’s talk clothes.

Have at least two suits — a formal suit and a casual one. I guess what I mean by “casual suit” isn’t really a suit — it’s a coordinated shirt, slacks and sports coat combo, usually a medium-to-dark earth tone. This is what you wear when, and only when, the employer instructs you not to wear a suit to the interview. The rest of the time, wear a nice two-piece suit, purchased within the last five years, excellent condition (no wear or stains), dark blue or charcoal. Black is acceptable, but makes you look like you’re going to a funeral — wear a colored tie to cheer it up.

Wear a nice shirt. White is best, properly fitted, with stays in the collars. If you know how to coordinate a colored shirt, go ahead — but white is safer. No French cuffs unless you’re French. Cuff links are nice — silver, not gold — but not necessary. No stains — eat before you change for the interview.

Also, make sure your suit and shirt are all newly dry-cleaned and pressed. Or at least iron them yourself.

Wear a tie. The tie should be silk, either a solid color or a subtle pattern. Absolutely do not wear any kind of novelty tie to a job interview. You can wear a college tie — if you know in advance that your interviewer went to that college. Otherwise, keep it simple and conservative. Clip-on ties are for blue collar workers circa 1953. Are you a blue collar worker, circa 1953?

If you don’t know how to tie a tie, look here.

Wear nice shoes. Yes, people look at your shoes. Wear leather business shoes, lace-up or slip-on, preferably black or brown. Spend some money, if for no other reason than pricier shoes will be more comfortable than cheap ones, and you never know how far you will have to walk from the car, or how long you might need to stand. Don’t think you can get away with black sneakers — this screams “I’m a recent college grad and I live in my Mom’s basement.”

Match your socks. Buy nice socks, and make sure they color coordinate with your suit and shoes. This is one of the little trivial things employers notice. If you’re wearing white sports socks with your black suit and loafers, you will not make a good impression.

Wear a belt. Like shoes, belts quickly wear out and become damaged. Have a recently purchased belt that fits properly — no extra long belt poking out of your suit. A slender belt is better than a thicker one. And absolutely no novelty buckles. Unless you live in Texas.

Groom your facial hair. If you are clean shaven, then make sure you really are clean shaven — take extra time to shave before an interview. Get under the chin. Even up those sideburns. Trim your nose hair.

If you have facial hair, you’re already at a disadvantage — some employers still think it’s 1947, and frown on beards and mustaches. Some firms even have policies against facial hair — you do not want to work there, unless you enjoy mandatory calisthenics, “WWJD” mugs and daily venerations of Walt Disney.

So if you have facial hair, trim it closely and evenly. Long beards are for pirates and hermits. Shave the edges to keep the beard neat.

Also, it’s 2009 — mustaches with no beard are appropriate only for cops and gay men. Tom Selleck can get away with it — you can’t.

Wear a watch. You will need to know the time. Actually, you can get away with almost anything for a watch — unusual watches make good conversation pieces. If a firm is unusually conservative, stick to a conservative watch.

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Job Interview Attire — for Women

Posted by Erik Even on Jun 18, 2009 in Advice, Job Search

The rules for proper business attire for men are quite simple. Sure, men get them wrong all the time, but they are simple.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy from House MDFor women, things are more complicated. This is because male hominids are genetically programmed to sexually objectify female hominids, especially the hot ones. It’s in the female hominid’s best interests to dress asexually, so as to be taken seriously as a workmate rather than a sexual conquest. Yet she must dress provocatively enough so as not to invite scorn. It’s a balance between a burka and Dr. Lisa Cuddy.

Here are some quick tips for female job interview attire. One general rule: while it’s generally undesirable to dress as generally undesirable — that is, too much “like a man” — it is better to dress less feminine than to wear an outfit that is too sexy. Yes, dressing provocatively may very well help you get hired — if the boss is a guy. But he’s not the kind of guy for whom you’ll want to work. To put it in terms familiar to D&D players: you want to be charismatic, not comely.

Wear a suit. Make it navy, black or dark gray. Some misguided people will tell you that a red outfit is a “power” outfit. Unfortunately, there are still people in the 21st Century who think a red outfit on a woman means she is a prostitute. Also, avoid lavender, aqua and other ’80s colors. These colors say “I collect unicorns and watch QVC while I cry into my Ben & Jerry’s.”

Wear a skirt or pants. Well, obviously — don’t show up in a thong. If you wear a skirt, keep it below the knee with no provocative slit along the side. If an employer requires its female employees to wear skirts, do not work there. You do not want to associate with those people. Unless you enjoy “Power Prayer Breakfasts,” “No on Prop. 8″ rallies, glass ceilings, and anti-Semitism.

Coordinate your blouse. You are safer with a perfectly opaque blouse, but a VERY SLIGHTLY transparent one should be fine. If I can read the label on your bra, it’s no good. Make sure the color coordinates with your suit. Oh, and those blouses with frilly junk along the front? Don’t do that. You’re not a pirate.

Minimal jewelry. Small earrings (non-dangling), a thin necklace and a ring. That’s it. Wear all silver or platinum — gold jewelry is for Jersey mob wives. (Whatever your wedding ring is, even if it’s awful, you can wear it. No one expects you to take off your wedding ring. Although your next husband should have better taste.) Avoid cheap jewelry — better to wear none.

Also, wearing multiple rings implies you lost your virginity in the wheat germ hut at Burning Man. Save that stuff for your off-hours.

Wear pantyhose. For the interview, anyway. Yes, in 20 years this ridiculous clothing item won’t exist anymore. But for right now, wear the damn things. Wear neutral pantyhose — colored hose are for porn stars and Harajuku girls.

Wear sensible shoes. First, keep them dark and coordinate them with your suit. Avoid buckles, frills and bells. “Light-up” clear plastic heels are right out.

Second, wear comfortable shoes. DO NOT WEAR HIGH HEELS. It’s not necessary, and you walk like a hobbled calf. Why spend your interview in severe pain? Men may notice if you wear high heels, but they won’t notice if you don’t. It’s time to end the tyranny of the cruel shoe.

Got any advice about female interview attire? Let us know in the comments!

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Ten Ways to Ensure You Don’t Get Hired

Posted by Erik Even on Mar 24, 2009 in Employment, Job Search

I don't need a job, man!Want to help out total strangers by letting them have that job for which you applied? Do you enjoy living in your mom’s basement eating Hot Pockets? Have you decided to move to Berkeley and live in a van down by the river?

Then here are ten ways to assure you don’t get hired.

Send a resume that gets noticed! No, not by clearly laying out your qualifications, silly. Print it on thick pink paper, with a piece of candy tied with a ribbon in one corner. And clip a photo of yourself to it, maybe that great Halloween costume shot from last year. Human resources managers love that kind of thing. They’ll eat the candy, show to photo around the office for mockery, and then file your resume — in the round file.

Ignore directions. The company may ask for your resume in a certain file format, or ask that your cover letter be a separate file. They may instruct you to send a writing sample, or just a link to your online portfolio. Whatever they ask you to do — they don’t mean it. Just do what’s convenient for you. You can be certain they’ll interview people who know how to follow instructions. And not you.

Call the employer every day. There’s nothing a human resources manager enjoys more than a job applicant who won’t leave them alone. Calling every day, even when asked to not call, tells the employer you are (1) motivated, (2) annoying and (3) possibly a psychopath.

Lie about your education and qualifications. Of course you’ve been through Harvard — by car! Yes, Denzel Washington is one of your references — you got his autograph back when he was on St. Elsewhere! Sure, you can operate 80-ton capacity rail crane with 5000kg chain hoists — how hard could it be? And there’s no way to check these things, right? Right?

Be late for the interview. The employer gets it — bad traffic, car trouble, bus was late, your water broke. No problem! Why should you be constrained by a repressive white male idea of linear time, anyway? You made yourself look bad next to all the employees who arrived punctually, but I’m sure that won’t hurt your chances.

Dress like a teenager for the interview. It tells the employer you’re fun! And I’m sure “fun” is eaxctly what they’re looking for in a new employee.

Go into details about your personal life and hobbies. Seriously, it’s an all new Klan nowadays. It’s like the Rotary Club, but with hoods. We even have black members! Well… members named “Black.”

Learn nothing about the company. That way you’re a fresh slate, a tabula rasa if you will. Employment is like being on a jury — the less you know, the better.

Badmouth your old company. Everyone enjoys humorous stories about how terrible your old job was. I’m sure the new employer won’t assume you’d badmouth their firm behind their back.

And if you do somehow manage to get hired, call in sick your first day. Just let them know you were feeling a bit woozy and decided to stay in bed. Don’t call in sick too early — around 11 or 11:30am should be fine.

Good luck not getting hired! See you in the dole queue!

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Less Common Interview Mistakes

Posted by Erik Even on Mar 4, 2009 in Job Search

InterviewI’ve been doing a lot of research on job searches and interviews. I’ve read dozens of online articles containing advice for both interviewers and interviewees.

For the most part, they all contain the same advice — dress properly, prepare answers to common questions, eat beforehand but not too soon beforehand.

But some interview advice surprised me, just because I never thought anyone would be so dumb.

Do not use your cell phone. Apparently, someone somewhere actually answered their cell phone during an interview. This is probably the same idiot who answers their phone on a first date. Don’t (in both cases)! Turn off your cell phone before you arrive at the interview, and don’t turn it on again until after you leave. During your interview, there is nothing in the world more important than that interview.

Don’t take things off the interviewer’s desk. Don’t “borrow” items like pens from off the desk. Don’t take candy from a bowl unless it’s specifically offered. The stuff on that desk is not yours.

Keep your private life private. The interviewer doesn’t want to hear about your spouse’s inverted colon, or your mom’s lawsuit, or that manipulative woman your son is dating. If something in your private life may affect your work, you might want to be up front about it — but in generalities only, please.

Don’t ask to use the phone. This isn’t a friend’s house, it’s a job interview. Leave the interview location, and go find a pay phone. Prepare an explanation of why, in this day and age, you don’t have a cell phone. Even the Amish have cell phones now. I’m not kidding.

And finally, one piece of advice for interviewers: Don’t play games. Some overpaid HR consultant might have told you to be “creative” in the interview — pretend to be asleep, convince the interviewee they got your name wrong, stage some kind of altercation. These stunts are supposed to tell you something about the applicant. They won’t. They just tell the applicant that you’re a jerk. Respect the interviewee’s time (and your own), and stick to normal conversation.

Got any good (but unusual) advice for interviewers or -ees? Leave a comment!

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